Mastectomy recovery

January 2011

My recovery was quick having great healing skin. Thank god I didn't know what was coming.  

A couple of days and I was running the vacuum around and walking whiskey my dog.  Dolly didn't go home, we became very close - I couldn't have got through my chemo without her and for that I promised her I would look after her.  I kept my promise right to the end.

December 2014

 Out of respect for David I will not go into detail but Dolly deteriorated fast with dementia.  We visited numerous homes before we decided on one for her.  She was such a sweetheart and everyone at the home absolutely loved her.  We had to choose one that was secure and we were reassured she would be safe.  We left her on the Saturday afternoon after settling her in to a lovely room.  There were digital combinations on every door and we felt really happy leaving her there.  I had bought pictures and cushions and throws etc.  An hour later we got a phone call saying she had escaped And the police were out looking for her.  She had waited at the door and when a visitor left she followed them out and walked 2 mile to the village in her slippers.  How did she manage that!!! We couldn't even get out - we had to ask someone the combination twice lol but Dolly never stuck fast she was on a mission. The police picked her up and brought her back, where one of the girls was waiting for her, Joanne .  From that moment on they were inseparable.  I loved going to see her - she waited for me and would show me off to everyone.

last Christmas Eve  Georgia and i stayed up watching a movie and at midnight decided to take whiskey for a walk. It was lovely and we walked to the fields passing groups of people coming out of the pub.  When we returned home we were wide awake so I suggested we go to see grandma(dolly) at the home.  I had the combination to get in as it was my second home and knew she was always up at night.  We took her gifts and a picnic.  We couldn't wait to surprise her. Unfortunately we got the surprise in fact the shock of our lives as she was very ill in bed. I was fuming - they hadn't contacted me as didn't want to spoil our christmas Eve (we were going to see her Christmas Day)   It was very upsetting and I won't go into detail but she asked me not to leave her and I didn't.  I climbed into bed with her and there I stayed until she died in my arms on boxing day.  I really miss her.

 

Back to january 2011

Mr Munot informed me that there were traces of cancer in my lymph nodes so I would have to have them removed in January before starting my chemo in February. The procedure took place in Jan to remove some of my lymph nodes in my left arm.  It was a straight forward op with no complications.   There has been no problems with the drainage in my arm thank god as it is common for the arm to swell and be extremely painful -  luck is on my side in many ways.

There was a meeting scheduled  with my oncologist to discuss further treatment - he decided on 6months chemo and 21 days of radiotherapy.  I am very conscious that it all seems negative, in actual fact it wasn't exactly positive but at the time I just got in with it as anyone else would. 

 My chemo was to start in February and being private I could have it in the comfort of my own home.  Personally this is not advisable and will explain why later.

15 December 2015

There has been a delay in updated this simply due to my exams at work which I have literally just had the last of TG. Thankfully passing this one at 98%, however not sure how, as the words were all mixed up in my mind.  Similar to Morecambe and Wise, I had all the right answers just not in the right order 😄

Anyway, sitting here reflecting, bringing back the most painful memories. Not sure what to expect but it wasn't what I got for sure.  The more I think about it, my psyche reverts to what got me through the tough times and very quickly it was gaining a sense of perspective.  Don't get me wrong, honestly at times I felt powerless, totally not in control of my body or mind but soon jumped back on my feet just before the next session and it would start all over again.

My psychology degree certainly served a purpose in my life. Not only to enhance my career but it contributed to my coping mechanisms and optimistic attitude throughout this process.  You will have heard it all before but it is true that the world is the same for everyone but, how each individual sees it is different.  We all have a choice of how we react to experiences.  We need to accept what is happening in our lives.  It doesn't mean you have to resign yourself and give in.  It means understand at this moment, it is what it is.  Of course life brings some really difficult times which is extremely  hard when you are suffering and you wish it was not happening but the key is to recognise you cannot change it but you can change how you deal with it.  

Having a sense of perspective makes a difference between resisting or accepting the changes that are happening in your life.  It gives you a sense of calm.  You want things to be different in the future, but in the present moment you accept things as they are, knowing it will soon pass.

Believe it or not it is a struggle revealing some of this stuff.  Then why do it ????? it has never stopped me being me but I have never accepted that it could return and until last year made no changes to my lifestyle.  After 5 years the possibility of it returning reduces and my cancer was one of the best to have, if there is a best.  I am struggling revealing my experience due to the fact I fear people will have the opinion I am a weak person.  I know it sounds crazy.  This experence has made me so much stronger and more appreciative of life. 

I hope this makes some sense.

February 2012 -My first chemo ......